Across the behavioral health field, we recognize the importance of offering support to caregivers, whether they sought our help on behalf of their children or for themselves. We also know there are many caregivers who don’t walk through our doors who need and deserve help.
In August, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents and guardians.
“(Caregivers) are navigating traditional hardships of parenting — worrying about money and safety, struggling to get enough sleep — as well as new stressors, including omnipresent screens, a youth mental health crisis and widespread fear about the future,” Dr. Murthy wrote in a New York Times opinion column at the time of the advisory’s release.
When caregivers come to us with these concerns, Brightli’s partners help the full families of the clients we serve to thrive. Whether that’s by providing childcare in recovery services inpatient facilities, connecting caregivers of youths in substance use recovery with family support specialists, offering safe and judgment-free group therapy options tailored to caregivers’ issues or through other avenues, we strive to help. Below, you’ll find tips and support opportunities from our behavioral health experts that can help anyone address some of the key issues presented in the surgeon general’s advisory.
Ways to build community and address loneliness among caregivers
Two-thirds of parents say they don’t talk about their stress for fear of burdening others, according to an American Psychological Association study cited in the advisory. At the same time, parents and guardians – and especially single parents and guardians – experience loneliness at higher rates than other U.S. adults.
Loneliness is a challenge many autism caregivers can experience as they address situations that are new to them, said Seth Allen, a leader in Autism Services at Brightli.
“It is really important for autism caregivers to get connected with supports for their own well-being and self-confidence,” Allen said. His team works to create support groups among clients and to also point clients to groups in the communities he serves.
Intentional connections can benefit any caregiver experiencing loneliness. Here are some ways caregivers can build them:
- Set up scheduled playdates with other caregivers and their children. As your children experience valuable social interaction, so do you. You can also take turns supervising children so each caregiver gets some intentional down time.
- Practice self-care in group settings. Whether it’s a book club, a boot camp or a birdwatching society, there are myriad community groups that let you experience activities that refill your cup and simultaneously connect you with others.
- Seek out caregiver support groups in your community. Consider asking people in your social network, from your neighbors to your healthcare provider, for recommendations. It’s an opportunity to open up valuable lines of communication.
Building your child’s self-worth can help you build your own
Keylee Tesar, who helped establish a program that strengthens relationships among foster and adoptive parents and their children, said that empowering children to believe in themselves also helps caregivers nurture their own sense of self-worth.
“When we show children love, respect and encouragement, we remind ourselves of our own strength and value,” Tesar said.
The program features an element called “character praise,” in which caregivers highlight and celebrate behaviors they see in their children that they want to flourish. Some examples include:
- “You worked so hard on that! Your determination is amazing!”
- “I love how kind you were to your friend today. You have such a big heart!”
- “You stayed so calm and patient, even when things were tough. That’s true self-control!”
Character praise not only enhances positive behaviors in children, but also provides immediate rewards for caregivers by activating the brain’s reward system through the release of dopamine and oxytocin. This practice boosts mood and reinforces positive behavior while fostering connection and well-being for caregivers and children. Practicing character praise with the caregivers in your life can provide similar rewards. As the surgeon general’s advisory reminds us, “Caregivers need care, too.”
Practice the six elements of self-care
Amy Hill, a leader in youth learning and development, has worked with caregivers for years to address their stress levels and improve mental well-being. She encourages caregivers to practice these six elements of self-care (with examples included):
- Physical care (eating well, exercising, wearing clothes you feel good in)
- Psychological care (taking time to reflect, learn or try something new, practicing saying no)
- Emotional care (maintaining contact with loved ones, rereading a favorite book, self-praise)
- Social care (dedicating time spent with others you value, participating in community groups)
- Spiritual care (spending time in nature, praying or meditating)
- Professional care (engaging with coworkers, setting limits and boundaries, do rewarding work)
As a whole, Hill said, they can help you practice mindfulness and become more aware of thoughts, feelings and the surrounding environment in the moment. Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress, improve mental focus and boost compassion, among its benefits.
It takes a village to care for a child; we want to contribute to yours
Our Be Well team offers a monthly Self-Care Challenge, an activity designed to help you improve your mental health through intentional practices. November’s challenge is tailored to caregivers and offers a Bingo card filled with activities that offer caregivers time to take care of themselves so they can continue to best support our youth. They include items like:
- Taking a social media break
- Jotting down three beautiful things surrounding you
- Making a space in your home dedicated to your comfort and interests
You can access the full November Self-Care Challenge anytime you need it by clicking this link. And you can keep up with the latest Be Well efforts by bookmarking bewellcommunity.org.
It’s OK to seek professional help.
Caregivers are doing the best they can with the information, resources and experiences they have had in their lives. Giving parents a safe and judgement-free space to learn, grow and heal benefits them, their children and the community. That space is available in a therapeutic behavioral health setting. If you need help, please reach out to our professional team to learn about the many options we offer. If you need immediate help in a crisis, it is only a call or text away by dialing the 988 Suicide and Crisis Line.
