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How to Avoid Faux Self-Care and Find Self-Care for Yourself

Avoid burnout and improve relationships with self-care

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As we become more aware of the impacts anxiety and stress can have on our overall well-being, the call for self-care is louder than ever before. For many people, self-care has become another item on their to-do list and an avenue of self-judgment.  

Self-care has risen in popularity on social media platforms with videos showcasing aspirational self-care routines. Since self-care emerged as a medical concept in 2016, perceived ways to do self-care “right” have emerged alongside many more ways to do it “wrong.” Outside pressure can make self-care feel more like a “to-do” item or a luxury to keep up with than an important aspect to maintain overall health and well-being.  

Air purifiers, serums, boutique exercise classes and candles have all been rebranded as the self-care cure to stress, burnout and depression. However, these products alone often do not deliver on their promises. Leaving a yoga class or exiting a bath more stressed than before are examples of someone experiencing the concept of faux self-care. 

Faux self-care can be identified in a few ways. It is often something prescribed from outside yourself and usually describes an activity or a product for purchase. Faux self-care may be rigid, requiring certain activities to be done at certain times. Faux self-care may also tell the consumer that a self-care practice is only complete with a specific product. 

While there is nothing wrong with candles and wellness products, the idea that there are extra purchase requirements and financial expenses self-care can be harmful. Real self-care is something everyone can do regardless of consumer ability.  

Self-care is important for managing stress, lowering the risk of illness and increasing energy. It is something we can all do daily or weekly that focuses on caring for the whole person, such as taking a mindful moment or eating a healthy, satisfying meal.  

With self-care, it’s more important to find out what works for you instead of what others may tell you is “right.” Real self-care is a lifestyle and is not static. Sometimes, real self-care involves eliminating items or activities that do not serve the person, and real self-care will never warrant comparison.  

Self-care looks different for everyone, so it may take each person time to find what they need and enjoy. It’s important to be compassionate along the way. Often, the first step on a self-care journey is setting boundaries to make space for ourself. 

Self-care practices can change from season to season based on what life throws our way. Self-care routines can often be the first thing to go when a challenging situation arises. That’s OK! Reset and try again when you have the time. A good relationship with self-care will help navigate challenging experiences and not add to the stress. 

Five types of self-care and ways to practice

  • Take a pause. Take a moment to ask yourself how you are doing. Then take the next moment to think about what might be helpful. 
  • Seek Support. Reach out to trusted friends, family or therapist to discuss your feelings, concerns and experiences. Immediate support is always available via call, text or video call when you contact the 988 lifeline. 
  • Take a break from screens. Constantly consuming information can be overwhelming. Try taking a walk free of distraction to recenter yourself.  
  • Relaxation techniques. Try deep breathing exercises or focus on your five senses to promote a sense of calm.  
  • Fuel your body with healthy meals and stay hydrated.  A balance of nutritious foods and plenty of water can improve your energy, focus, and overall feeling of wellbeing throughout the day. 
  • Ensure quality sleep. Sleep is essential for our bodies to heal and restore themselves. Avoid late night device time or stressful activities like working out right before bed. Try a nighttime routine to help your body know it’s time to rest. 
  • Nurture relationships. Reach out to connect with your people. Send a text message to say ‘thank you’ or take a moment to check in on someone.  
  • Find quality time. Dedicate time to spend with loved ones, engaging in activities that promote connection, laughter, and shared experiences. 
  • Engage in meaningful activities. Activities such as volunteering or engaging in creative endeavors that align with values can provide a sense of purpose and can help us feel connected to something bigger. 
  • Practice gratitude. Remind yourself daily of things you are grateful for. Be specific and write them down or replay them in your mind. Nothing is too small to mention. 

If you are concerned about your overall well-being or the well-being of a loved one, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Adult & Child’s team has years of experience working with clients of all ages to meet behavioral health needs, no matter the season. Learn more about our services here: Primary Care and Clinic Based Services

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Sarah Miller, PMHNP-BC

Sarah Miller works with the addictions team, general psychiatry for adolescents and adults, and the competency restoration team. She is board-certified as a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. Her specialties are working in addictions and with people who experience serious mental illness.

Miller graduated from Indiana University with a psychology degree and went back to school for nursing. She received her nursing degree from Indiana Wesleyan University and worked in a nursing home and also spent time working in a group home with adolescents. She received her master’s degree from Vanderbilt University.

She enjoys hanging out with her family and her two dogs, and going to sporting events.

Joanna Chambers, MD

Dr. Joanna Chambers is a psychiatrist who began seeing Adult & Child Health patients in November 2021. She graduated from Medical College of Georgia with her Doctorate of Medicine in 1996 and completed her residency in psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine. In addition to bringing a wealth of experience, she currently serves as an associate professor at Indiana University School of Medicine where she teaches Clinical Psychiatry. She is certified in Addiction Medicine and has a special interest in treating pregnant and postpartum women. She is President of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and Dynamic Psychiatry Organization as well as a sitting member of many medical association boards. Recently, she has won the Residents’ Award for Teaching Excellence in 2020 from Indiana University and has received “Best Doctors Award” in 2010, 2011, and 2014. Dr. Chambers is incredibly active in the medical, academic, and research realms of medicine. She is currently accepting new patients on Wednesdays.